Tis the season to be jolly, so instead of telling you how great our RICOH multi-purpose print devices are or why our support team and customer care is second to none, we are going to give you some advice to steer you through the holiday season. Focusing specifically on that seasonal pinnacle of high jinx in the office:
The office Christmas party - some look forward to the free booze, silly games and the opportunity to flirt with Dave in finance. Others hate it, for after a few festive snifters, they are routinely cornered by maudlin Mary, bemoaning why she's always passed over for promotion.
Either way the potential for disaster always looms large when it comes to fuelling the office-gossip fire.
Singletons are most at risk of embarrassment with the lethal combination of too much cheap fizz and the inappropriate dangling of mistletoe. But here are the important NO-GOs that all us should avoid:
1. Wearing a ‘sexy' Santa costume
These are not sexy. The LBD is a classic for a reason, so stick to what you know. If you are male - Santa outfit! - what on earth were you thinking? Someone would sit on your knee? Too creepy by half.
2. Flirting with the CEO/your line manager
I'm sure after a few drinks you think you're coming across as ever-so-charming, but do resist. They're most likely married, and will usually stay more sober than everyone else. There is a 90% chance you will be slurring, which while having the benefit that none will understand your ramblings, its still a bad look all the same.
3. Placing mistletoe on or around your ‘erogenous zones'
Just no. A few sprigs tucked in the zipper of your suit pants or between your cleavage is not in any way alluring, and if it works with anyone, it will be spotty Jimmy the intern. And no one wants to wake up to that.
4. Asking for a pay rise
Drunken ranting about how you work far harder than Sophie in the accounts department is not acceptable. Plus even if you manage to win the boss over, they'll probably have forgotten by the morning.
5. Photocopying your bum/boobs/other unmentionables
One of those things that seems really funny in movies, but actually is more difficult to execute than you'd think. Photocopiers and printers are much higher up than you expect, so it has to be a team effort, which kind of ends up looking like a copy room orgy on the CCTV.
6. The ‘Christmas' kiss
Do resist the temptation to down one too many J-bombs before setting yourself upon anyone vaguely attentive. Regardless of whether it's Christmas or not: if you are married, the person you wan to snog is married or your boss (see point 2) it will still be highly inappropriate, and you will be the source of water cooler laughter until at least Easter.
7. Chicken out of going for it
That said, if you've liked someone for ages, they are a free agent and you've never had the guts to declare your feelings, then just go for it. Use Tim from The Office as your inspiration. The worst that can happen is they'll say no, but the Christmas break will give them (and you) time to forget about it and move on. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
8. Inviting someone you've only just started dating to the party
This is an intense situation, the booze will be flowing, and you'll be surprised by how much dirt your colleagues can and will dish on you, especially when inebriated. Revoke the invite, and take them to a Christmas market another night instead.